What do you need right now?

Have you taken the time to consider the question, what do you need right now?

Recently, artist and coach Helen Conway asked me this question. Funnily, she had asked me soon after I had done the same of someone else, in response to their circling in on externally imposed dilemmas. Somehow, I forgot to ask myself this question.

In my case, with hemisphere change and discombobulation lifting me off my feet daily, I was devouring the possibilities of where to take my business. I had (have!) big questions that deserve a lifetime to tend to.

But in my search for clarity, I stirred up distraction from what I need right now. Can you relate to this at all?

Being a multipotentialite, I have no problem dreaming up new projects and ideas. Being a catalyst, spinning up a new activity or direction in response to new information comes naturally to me. But these are external matters, for which internal alignment is essential (assuming one wants to live a resonant life).

There is no shortcut to meeting our own internal needs but for me, the question, what do you need right now? is a helpful start.

So many of us have been conditioned to postpone our own needs in order to earn a place in society. The reasons for doing so can be quite material, and frequently connected to power and its unequal distribution.

As an example: Tema Okun’s work has been super helpful for me to recognise the ways white supremacy shows up in my own behaviour and relationships - do you recognise any of these behaviours?

• Perfectionism

• A sense of urgency

• Defensiveness and/or denial

• Quantity over quality

• Worship of the written word

• The belief in one “right” way

• Paternalism

• Either/or binary thinking

• Power hoarding

• Fear of open conflict

• Individualism

• Progress defined as more

• The right to profit

• Objectivity

• The right to comfort

Shout out to Okun’s website too, where you can dive into each of these characteristics in more detail.

Art by Melanie G.S. Walby cited on Tema Okun’s website.

I’ve noticed that almost every time I’m distracted from my deeper needs, there are at least one of the above characteristics at play - which does not serve me or society well.

To be clear, I’m not proposing that self-care is always anti-racist (that is a whole other conversation). But I am saying that our bodies, culture and relationships can reproduce the dynamics that disconnect us from ourselves and each other.

And so, the simple question, what do you need right now? can be a beautiful starting point to reconnect, when done relationally.

This is also one reason why I advocate for prioritizing creativity in our lives, in whatever way we engage in it. For me, painting brings me back to myself and to the world around me.

As Nicholas Wilton said, “Art is the place where we learn how to not follow rules”. And unlearning the rules of a hyperproductive culture is high on my priority list. What about you?

I’d love to hear, what are ways you’re unlearning the rules of a hyperproductive culture? Please share in the comments below or contact me here.

I am committed to honoring of the wellbeing, creativity and joy of every person, as the ultimate form of justice and health for all. If I can help you and your team with this journey, or simply be a sounding board, feel free to reach out by contacting me.