What to do when you feel like you’ve failed
TL;DR:
When we’re in the “space between” action and outcome, it can feel like we’ve failed and the inner critic wants to lead.
Momentum is critical - try these 4 ways to stay grounded: reframe, act, track and celebrate.
Have you ever felt like you failed, before you even knew the result?
Recently, I interviewed for something I really wanted. I had to distill my work, aspirations and potential into a 10 minute Q&A. I was prepared, believed in my offering, connected with the panel…
But I left the interview feeling like I flunked it. I missed key points that would have addressed their questions.
It’s tempting to let the inner critic take the lead. But this space of ‘not knowing’ is precisely when to keep momentum.
As someone who coaches creative leaders, I know this is familiar territory. Bringing new ideas and creations into the world takes courage. It can test your confidence, no matter how experienced you are.
So here are four steps that help me navigate the “space between” action and outcome:
1. Reframe the moment
Instead of seeing it as make-or-break, view this as one thread in a longer story. As I’ve written before, failure is just feedback.
Creative leadership means you may make an ass of yourself, multiple times a day - and it may or may not get somewhere. That’s the process of building your creative trajectory.
2. Take one small action
Do something low-stakes that takes you towards your creative vision. Maybe it ties to your art practice, your brand presence, your relationships, your offerings. Keep your vision alive.
3. Start an opportunity log
Create a note or doc: list what you’ve tried, who you’ve contacted, risks you’ve taken. These are wins, so track the ground you’ve covered.
4. Celebrate what you did well
Even if you feel you weren’t your best, name three things you’re proud of from the experience. Focus on your strengths so they can flourish.
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Showing up when the outcome is uncertain is artful leadership. Remember, you’re doing amazing work - even if it feels like it’s not (good) enough or messy. I’m cheering for you.
I’d love to hear: what helps you navigate the “space between” or recover from a confidence wobble?
I am committed to honouring the wellbeing, creativity and leadership of every person. If I can help you or your team with this journey please reach out by contacting me here. Learn more about my coaching services here and workshops here.
